Scientists finally pronounce the human genome, a new report finds that the Washington Redskins' name is only offensive if you think about what it means, and a bigoted asshole makes the best barbecue. It's the week of August 16, 2013. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion